DUELING BIMBOS
Subtitle: "In Pursuit of the Protruding Pouty Petulant Lower Lip, PPPLL."

March 6, 2002

The original match-up was history before it could come off. Now Tanya Harding is paired with Paula Jones in a female boxing match. Oh, boy, I can wait!

If I had to watch, I would have preferred to see Tanya fight Amy Fisher, 'The Long Island Lolita,' probably only because I had once entertained more respect for Paula Jones. Oh, well.

Do these 'gals' (I can't bring myself to say women, and I am tired of using "females of the species") each have the tell-tale "Protruding Pouty Petulant Lower Lip, PPPLL?" I am not sure, but I think they do. However, I refuse to look into it and be more accurate. I mean, why should I? It might ruin my whole premise.

It seems to me that there is a reason God gave certain of His creations such appendages, and that reason was so that someone smacking those creations in the mouth would not cut their knuckles on the lower teeth. This concept also ties in nicely with what Confucius taught and needs more dissemination. Confucius advised new bridegrooms to beat their wives daily. According to him, "You won't know what it's for, but she will." As in all else, some need more and some less. 'The Lips' need more.

But, that could take a toll on the primary caregiver without protection. Now do you see the necessity for the extra padding? Seems obvious to me.

Andrea Yates has the PPPLL. Is there a more pathetic piece of cow flop in the world? The latest angle I heard reported was that the whole mess was her doctor's fault because he took her off some medication or another. Barbara Streisand! (Wait, does Babs have the lip? I've never got past the nose).

Someone doesn't kill their kids because of a lack of drugs or because someone didn't talk to them that day or whatever. They do such acts because they are evil, and we cannot afford to keep them around because they drag us all down. Cross the line, oblivion!

Her hubby. Can you believe that dolt? Obviously, he failed as her primary caregiver. I would only let him off the hook if I could see his arrest record for domestic violence. Had he tried to flatten that offensive lip about sixteen times a day, he may have grown into manhood, and those kids might still be alive.

But, 'The Lips' are winning. Pouting and 'The Lip' are marketable symbols of victimhood. Pout and the money and sympathy pour out for you. Used to be that this was a sure ticket to go sit in the corner (unless you were already there). Is it now a ticket to "higher" things?

Doesn't Hillary Clinton have one?

Washington State Attorney General, Christine Gregoire, has one.

Andrea, Hillary, and Christine. Ooh, boy! Hey, this may never replace phrenology in preciseness, but I think I have stumbled upon something undeniable here, but what is it?

Could it be "The Mark?"

Copyright © 2002, Donald L. Beeman. All rights reserved.

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