BUNCO BILLY

I am thinking of making a new movie about a modern day fraud-fighter. I wonder if Clint Eastwood and his old flame, whats-her-face, oh, yeah, Sondre Locke, would care to head up my cast.

"Ooooh, Bunco Billy, you're the greatest!"

Something like that.

Perhaps, with Enron and the other Enron-like debacles, bunco will again be somewhat on the minds of the American public and law enforcement.

Is the prosecution of Miss Cleo a sign of changing times? A good sign or a bad omen? Go after the black chick and just make noise about those white pigs - - - it is bound to be noticed in certain segments of our land.

One of my recurring themes that I dwell on again and again is that this country was built by people with high school and eighth grade educations, and it is being dismantled by people with college and advanced college degrees. This would only be true if there is a great deal of fraud being perpetrated. I assert that there is. Our entire society has been corrupted and duped. The very concept of "education" as it has evolved is an "untruth" which is propped up with ever increasing large sums of money and the neurotic lie, "you can't get a good job unless you get a good education." The danger is greater because society now tries to enforce this axiom, buying jobs for people with certain kinds of diplomas and making war on the industries and businesses that hired those without pedigrees or papers. (Unless, of course, you are an immigrant, preferably an illegal one).

The con artist, the "flim-flam man," etc., have always been among us. We just don't talk about it anymore. Not really. Years ago, there was a TV show called "Dragnet." Each week it seemed that Sergeant Friday and his partner were working a different division. Sometimes it was homicide, sometimes burglary, sometimes auto theft (is stealing cars still a crime?), and sometimes it was bunco. There were probably others too. Yes, I think vice was also one. What do cop shows do these days? I haven't watched for a long time. Drugs and domestic violence cases? Anything else? That's right, sometimes Sergeant Friday would be working narcotics. He got around. There weren't any politically correct or incorrect crimes then of which I am aware.

Any bunco related episodes now? If so, is that word, bunco, used?

I like it. There are many things that we don't see anymore - - - things that I liked. Do you remember "Song of the South?" Now, you will be told that it is taboo because it is racist. That is a lie. I myself loved Uncle Remus as a child. I always will. And, the music in it too. They can't take that from me. You and your children and your grandchildren can't see "Song of the South" because of another reason. That reason is bunco. You see, Bre'r Rabbit was a con artist, a "flim-flam bunny!" He duped Bre'r Fox using 'reverse psychology.' They really, really, really, really don't want you to know this concept, and they tremor at the thought of you observing its effectiveness in action. Anyone who has seen the movie or read the book knows what happened after Bre'r Rabbit pleaded to not be thrown into the briar patch, right?

Now, does it take an advanced degree to figure out what would happen when the experts go into the schools and tell the kids not to try drugs or sex? Two things that didn't used to be on the minds of every school kid every waking hour now are. And, violence? How often are the kids (or fathers) told not to hit? The experts have been successful in making a better society for us, right? Our communities aren't really drug infested combat zones, are they? And, how much more is spent on law enforcement, legal drugs, and counselling, so we feel safe and can cope?

Another thing from "Song of the South" they don't want you to have is the song, "Zippity Do Dah!" No one can be depressed after hearing it, and that just wouldn't do. Depression is too big of an employer these days where full employment for college grads is a mania, even if it means making people, including children sick, in order to grow the "profession."

Bunco. It is all bunco. Environmentalism shouldn't escape the label either. Bunco. We've been conned into sealing our buildings and changing emissions. Bunco.

I suspect that bunco is taboo these days. No one wants to talk about someone else's fraud because, deep down, they know that their existence, their job, their life are also frauds. Few of us have the honest work of those high school grads and dropouts of yesteryear. We live in a world of smoke, mirrors, foundations, tax loopholes, derivatives, other artifices, and . . . fear.

Selling shoes is good honest work. I wish I could be a shoe salesman. (From Jersey? No). Then, would I quit and become "Bunco Billy?"

Maybe. Just maybe. I wonder if Sondre is available.

Copyright © 2002, Donald L. Beeman. All rights reserved.

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